011: Everything You Need to Know About Senior Living Communities – Dawneen Lorance

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (00:00)
Senior living communities. We all know what they are, or do we? My guest, Dawneen Lorance is here to talk about what you should look for and how to discern which community is right for you. Moving your mom or your dad or yourself, isn't just about moving things from one place to another. It is much more complicated than that. As are so many things having to do with later life. How to Move Your Mom and still be on speaking terms afterward provides in depth conversations with professionals, older adults and their family members who share their stories with warmth, understanding and humor. I'm your host, Marty Stevens-Heebner, and here you'll find answers to many of your questions as well as different perspectives that I hope will inform and inspire you. Dawneen, thank you so much for joining me.

Dawneen Lorance: (00:58)
Hey, Marty. How's your day? It's

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (01:00)
It's good. How's yours?

Dawneen Lorance: (01:03)
Great. Great.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (01:03)
It's always good to see you. Let me tell you a little bit about Dawneen Lorance. Director of marketing at Villa Gardens senior living in Pasadena, California. She's been working with older adults and their families for over 20 years. The expertise in compassion from her previous career, which was managing the marketing and fundraising for non profits, those skills have searched her well as she began to support people through their later years. Villa Gardens, where she works, is an exceptional example of a continuing care retirement community. In the biz, we call that a CCRC. We'll be talking about the differences between a CCRC and assisted living and that sort of thing in just a bit. But right now I want to start off with you Dawneen and ask you, what's your favorite memory of your grandparents?

Dawneen Lorance: (01:52)
We didn't live near my grandparents. My parents both grew up in Oregon, and my dad wanted to be in aerospace. So they came to California. Every two years we would go up and have a vacation in Oregon. So my mother's stepmom was the wife of a rancher. She had homemade baked bread and cookies every day, which was not like being at home.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (02:16)
Please have her adopt me.

Dawneen Lorance: (02:20)
We rode horses. So that was my memory of my mom's family. And then my dad very much the city boy, his mom lived in a row house in Portland, Oregon. And I remember going to the basement and playing with her ringer washing machine that she used. So, good memories of these people.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (02:39)
I can just place you there, and I kind of want to place me there too. That's so great. So talk to me about the focus of your work at Villa Gardens.

Dawneen Lorance: (02:50)
As a marketing director, I'm one of three on our marketing team and it's our job to introduce the world to our community. Villa Gardens is a retirement community. We say community, facility is the F word in our industry, we don't say that.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (03:08)
Yes, it is.

Dawneen Lorance: (03:10)
So three of us introducing us out in the world. We also introduce people by doing tours, bringing them in, helping them make that decision to move. And it's often relationship building that makes that happen.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (03:22)
You have a wait list out the yin yang.

Dawneen Lorance: (03:24)
We do have a wait list and we have some openings. It's always a tricky thing to say, you have a wait list. Right? Because you're not really full all the time. But we have some people who are ready to move, but I don't have the exact view they want, [inaudible 00:03:39] apartment. So they're going to wait. Others know they want to be at Villa Gardens. They've toured, they've met residents. They know this is the culture of a community they want, but they're just not quite ready. So they're on the wait list. And then when they're ready, I'll be ready. We'll find them the right place together. So couple reasons for a wait list.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (03:58)
I was going to say, it's good that your phone's ringing because you guys are always busy.

Dawneen Lorance: (04:03)
It's true.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (04:04)
[inaudible 00:04:04].

Dawneen Lorance: (04:05)
I've been here nine years. And right now we are in August of 2021, and we're busier than we've been in nine years.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (04:13)
Wow. I imagine during COVID that people may have put off moving in because people were so concerned about communities. In Pasadena, was there a ban on moving people in? I can't remember.

Dawneen Lorance: (04:23)
Well, each community is different. Pasadena has the good fortune of having its own health department. So we were mandated by both Pasadena Department Health and LA County Department of Health. If you had cases, there were different levels of shutdowns at different times. We were closed for move-ins for about six to eight months. So, interesting time. I think in the beginning we thought, wait, people will never want to move into congregate living again. Right? Everybody was a little nervous. It went on so long. Remember the days when we were like, eh, three weeks it'll be done. But as it went on, I think what people have found now, people who were alone and there's [inaudible 00:05:06] some health effects and maybe they would've declined that way without a pandemic.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (05:09)
It really did impact them, especially early on. And there was a client that was moving into Villa Gardens that we worked with. You referred them to us. And I remember meeting with her. I think it was in late February, maybe early March of 2020. Her hair was dyed red. She had this thick Scottish brogue, and she was so fun and fascinating, a spitfire. And she had some cognitive decline at that time, but there was the ban and everything else that they couldn't move in. Later in the year we got a call from her son and he said, "We have to move her in." And when I saw her I nearly burst into tears, because her hair was wild and completely silver. And she didn't really know who he was. She couldn't speak and articulate words and she had to be helped along. That's what isolation can do to you. Like you say, she may have declined precipitously on her own-

Dawneen Lorance: (06:05)
That's a real good example. And he didn't want to move her here sooner because there were no visitors. And by the time he moved her, we found a way for him to become a caregiver to her because medical staff can come in. So we were able to follow some regulations that allowed him to come in as a caregiver. We've had two people move in who experienced some aphasia, some inability to articulate words. And now that they're here, it's all back. They're fine. They're having full on conversations. It wasn't a permanent decline for them.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (06:40)
It makes such a difference. Those connections are so important. So what's the difference between your community Villa Gardens, a continuing care retirement community, a CCRC, and an assisted living community?

Dawneen Lorance: (06:56)
The short straight answer is a continuing care retirement community has, I want to say, all levels of care, but that varies too, each community is different. At Villa Gardens, we have 215 apartments. They are independent apartments, but they're all licensed for assisted living. So you can get assistance in those independent apartments as well. 19 of those apartments are a secure memory care for people with more advanced stage dementia, secure not locked. They're like alarmed doors.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (07:27)
People with dementia often go, what we call, wandering. Right? They walk out the front door and they just keep walking and they don't know where they are, they don't remember where they live, and they may not even remember their name. And so that's why there have to be alarm doors just so everybody's kept track of and safe.

Dawneen Lorance: (07:46)
And staff trained to work with people specifically with dementia. And then we have a skilled nursing, another word for skilled nursing is rehab. So for post-hospital rehab, short-term stays or long-term stays. We have that on our campus as well. That's a separate building. We have a pool. We have a state-of-the-art gym, really rich activity program. The concept is you can come and have every level of care that you may need. You will hear those same words from an assisted living. So what is the difference? Because you can move in independent, and then get assistance in that apartment in an assisted living. They often have the memory care.

Dawneen Lorance: (08:23)
The difference, there's a financial structure that's a little bit different, but the residents actually have more of a buy-in into what happens here. We have more of a culture of independence. Residents really are involved in what happens here as far as the committees and the oversight. Most of us are owned by nonprofit. We're owned by a company called Front Porch. So there's a Front Porch board of directors and there's resident representation on that board, other layers that really give the residents involvement in the community. And we also have incredible care when that time is right when they need it.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (09:01)
And that's why you all have such a superb reputation. You haven't brought up the food. It's yummy there.

Dawneen Lorance: (09:09)
Food is everywhere. When I do tours every day I'm saying, "We have the best dining program in any senior housing." I'm just sounding like a sales person now. What sets us apart is we've got the daily options, all the things you think of, and a three page menu. And on the holidays, we're like a five star hotel with our buffets, mother's day buffet and all those good things. And we have a bistro. So if you didn't want to sit in the big restaurant one day, you can go to the bistro. It's like a Starbucks. Come and have a snack or a sweet sandwich and sit and have your cup of coffee.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (09:43)
Just like in your home where food is an important thing, and also your real estate is an important thing. Same thing with the CCRC. You had mentioned earlier that people on your wait list, it may not be that there's nothing available. It may just be that they want a two bedroom instead of a one bedroom or that they really want that corner apartment.

Dawneen Lorance: (10:05)
Right.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (10:07)
It's a different way of thinking of real estate.

Dawneen Lorance: (10:09)
We're in a community where the majority are one bedroom started over 600 square feet, and we go up to 1800 square feet for apartments. You've helped us move people in. And some people hire decorators. We definitely will make it new and beautiful and updated for any resident. And then those who want to upgrade and create even more like their beautiful home they had on Orange Grove Boulevard or San Marino or wherever they were are welcome to do that as well. Apartment homes, as we say, every single accommodation looks like their home.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (10:43)
It's home.

Dawneen Lorance: (10:43)
Again that culture of independence, it can still feel like home. We'll do the housekeeping weekly, that's included. We got the fun stuff going on so you can be engaged. You got a drip under your faucet, call the maintenance man, go to your exercise class, hopefully carefree lifestyle.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (10:58)
You have such a great culture there because you get a lot of retirees from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, which works with NASA and is right there in Pasadena, all kinds of great things going on in Pasadena. The big Rose Parade on January 1st. And I know there is a group that got together to create a float for the rose parade in early 2020.

Dawneen Lorance: (11:20)
Thank goodness we did it that year because they didn't have a rose grade last year. We have a resident who moved here. Yes. We have a lot of Pasadena people, JPL, Cal tech, people who live here and love the Huntington gardens. We've got a community at Villa Gardens school of philanthropists, local philanthropists, supporters of the opera, Colburn, which is a conservatory music school. So that's who lives here. But we have people who come from your hometown, Rochester or-

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (11:48)
I'm Buffalo.

Dawneen Lorance: (11:51)
Sorry madam.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (11:52)
[inaudible 00:11:52].

Dawneen Lorance: (11:52)
[crosstalk 00:11:52] sorry being a California person, over there. Right?

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (11:56)
Yeah. People out of state think San Francisco and Los Angeles are right close together. Like, oh no.

Dawneen Lorance: (12:02)
So Nan is a resident who lived in Rochester and she wanted make sure we celebrated the 100th anniversary that passed the 19th amendment, the women's right to vote, was inspired by Villa Gardens resident. I just get involved and supported this incredible grassroots movement. For people who don't know, it cost $300,000 to make a rose float. I did not know that previously. I love that it was inspired by Villa Gardens resident.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (12:31)
And also which award? It was the theme trophy. Wasn't it?

Dawneen Lorance: (12:34)
Yes. Every year there's a president of the tournament of roses, and they get to pick, and it was the power of hope. Our float won the theme award.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (12:44)
What do you love about what you do?

Dawneen Lorance: (12:46)
Meeting people. Hearing stories. This week, we did a book signing by a resident. She decided to start writing her memoirs. And once a week she would write an essay and distribute it to all the residents. And then other residents got inspired and would give her their stories. And that would be in these weekly distribution. So, this week, her published book, she brought it to the residents. We had a little party in the dining room and she signed books for people. Any books she sold she gave the money to all the Front Porch communities foundation.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (13:24)
What's the book called?

Dawneen Lorance: (13:26)
The Essays of Ann. Her name is Ann Grant. Available on Amazon.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (13:32)
Fantastic. All right.

Dawneen Lorance: (13:35)
So clearly that's the best part of my job. I think this decision of making a move to retirement community is a serious decision and sometimes takes years. So I actually have frequently had relationships with residents for a few years before they come here. And hopefully, I'm supporting them and giving them whatever tools they need until they're ready. Another wonderful part of this job is meeting people like you. People in our industry, and I know you agree with me, 95% of the people we meet who are serving senior living in general are really cool people. People I want to meet and hang out with. So I feel honored to be doing what I'm doing for a few reasons.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (14:20)
The people who are drawn to working with older adults and the professions that involve that tend to be really compassionate people and also very patient.

Dawneen Lorance: (14:32)
Yes.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (14:32)
What I'm seeing as a thread here through these podcasts is just how long we stay involved with our clients. And especially for realtors, placement agencies, communities, often it can be a two or three year relationship, at least, before an action is actually taken by that person or their family. And I think that speaks to who, like I say, has the patience and the inquisitiveness and the dedication to really be drawn to work with older adults and their families. And you're so right. I've met so many friends since I started this company eight a half years ago, including you.

Dawneen Lorance: (15:11)
I appreciate you. I got into this industry not, "oh, I've had a grandmother." I hear those stories. Because that's not me. I was a single working mom and was offered an opportunity that had a little less stress and a little more money. I said, "Hey, I'll give it a try." But that associate who recruited me offered her mentorship. And she used to say, "Like a fish to water. You just took to it." And I'm not sure how that all evolved, but I just have no reason to leave it. It's been a great fit for me. And like I said, an honor to work with people at this stage in their life. As we all age, there's so much to learn.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (15:56)
It really is an honor to get to work with people no matter who they are. There are those rich stories and you just go home feeling like you've lifted a burden from somebody, in our case, because we're dealing with the moves and aging a place and all of that. And with you, it just must be wonderful knowing that you have a thriving community there and the older adults who live there are so satisfied.

Dawneen Lorance: (16:20)
Well, and unlike you, I get to see what happens after they move. If I'm not always be as directly involved, but I can certainly ask, how's this going? And continue those relationships sometimes depending on the person. But there are days where we'll look at each other in the marketing department, we did a good thing today. Today was good. We did a good thing. This person needed to move and we were able to guide them through. Yeah, we have a prospect, is what we call people who are getting ready to move. She's been on our wait list for six years. She's moving, and she's ready now. So that's good. You don't want anybody to move before they're ready if they can possibly help it.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (16:58)
Who's a good fit for a CCRC, and maybe even just senior living in general? What do you think?

Dawneen Lorance: (17:07)
People who are done with the care of their home, getting tired, losing energy over the care of their home. I think that's one thing. They don't want to cook. We also provide transportation. Sometimes it's a matter of, you had to give up your car, maybe eyesight issues, maybe just you're ready to give up your car. You can regain independence by being in a community where there is transportation provided. And you also have to just make a phone call and somebody will take care of it. Some of those things can be offered in your home too. I always say community living isn't for everybody. Of course, I think it is, because of what I do and what I see.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (17:43)
Me too.

Dawneen Lorance: (17:44)
But there's always going to be people who aren't going to move in. And that's great. There's something for everybody. Some people do wait until they're sicker or unable and need some care. That's okay too. I encourage earlier if possible, because we have such engaging programming and there's never a boring dinner conversation. You'll meet the coolest people if you move in here and you are still wanting that level of social engagement. At Villa Gardens we talk a lot about that. But I think that question of who is it good for? It's also good for people who want to relieve their children of that care. Managing care for a parent is very involved and overwhelming. And even if you don't have children or if you're working, it can be a lot.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (18:33)
Yeah, very daunting. So what kind of questions and things should people be doing as they approach a community and consider living in it? What questions, what things should they do? What do you think?

Dawneen Lorance: (18:45)
I think they've got to visit the community live. Research, research, research. Ask everything. Do not be afraid to ask. And there's plenty of lists online. Anybody can pull up lists and lists of questions to ask. The real obvious things are cleanliness, and are people happy when you walk in the door, what kind of service are you given? You may want to do some phone calling before to make sure it's in your price range, in your wheelhouse. There's a lot of different, I'm going to use the word, products, and people don't think of it that way when they're shopping. Right? Because it is a personalized product. So that's why make sure... It feels like almost like buying a house. And I know everything's going virtual. So this is an interesting question too. But would you feel comfortable living there [crosstalk 00:19:35]

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (19:35)
The energy, the feeling of enthusiasm, do people enjoy living there? Another reason to do some phone research is to see how responsive they are on the phone. They should be so responsive when you first call because you mentioned prospect. You're interested in living there. That's a great thing. And, of course, when we call your community, right there, helpful, friendly, all that stuff.

Dawneen Lorance: (19:54)
And just, don't be afraid to ask anything. If you or your parents are going to live there, you got to feel comfortable with it. And I think one look is not enough. I encourage people to shop and look at all kinds of communities. And then when you narrow it down to two, three, whatever, where that number is for you, go back and meet residents. You can talk to people like me all day long. I don't sleep here. You want to know what is that process like? What was it like to downsize? Do I need to work with Clear Home Solutions? Somebody like Marty? Some people do, others say, "Oh I got five kids and they just need a mover, a truck," but just keep asking questions and figure out if this is the right culture for you.

Dawneen Lorance: (20:37)
Because here's an example. Villa Gardens was started by retired teachers in the 1930s. Somehow this culture of lifelong learning continues at Villa Gardens. That's who our residents are. We remodeled, we were going to move the library to the big beautiful fifth floor with the mountain view. And they were like, "Nope, it's got to stay right here in the lobby. When you walk into Villa Gardens and you see a library, that's who we are."

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (21:02)
I could attest to that. You see it as soon as you walk in and it's beautiful and welcoming.

Dawneen Lorance: (21:06)
So, culture of a community, is this a good fit for you? Does this feel like your people? There's about a 30 person committee of residents who volunteer their time to help new residents move in. They're the mentors. So if somebody's looking and they say, "I want to come back and I want to meet some of the residents," I can call the mentor committee and say, "Hey, got couple people who would want to have lunch next week." And they can meet that person and you can ask them those questions. What was it like to move?

Dawneen Lorance: (21:34)
And if it's your parents, really dig down a little bit on what the fears are. Sometimes we hear them say, "nah," but sometimes it is the actual move. Moving out of that house you've been in for 50 years. If that's the biggest hindrance, or is it, I'm shy and how am I ever going to meet people in the dining room? Then you got to ask those questions. How do new people meet people in the dining room? What does that look like in this community? And really listen. My answer is you get a resident mentor, but every community's got it a little different. How do people transition into this community lifestyle? Which can be a little intimidating even if you're the most outgoing person.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (22:15)
You had mentioned to me at one point, even eat there when you're not with your mentor and just see if people approach you, if they're friendly, and above all, if you like the food. Because that is one of life's great choice. It is. It is. Every day it sustains us. So you can tell it's important to me. That's for sure.

Dawneen Lorance: (22:31)
Yeah. Great. And you can still go out. Still live your life, whatever you do, live in the community. And yes, there's so much to be engaged in. But if you're volunteering at the hospital, there's no reason those things should stop because you move to a community. You still are who you are. Continue being who you are. How can you do that at this community? Those are the kind of questions that I think people don't think about asking.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (23:00)
As you're saying that, anybody who's moving should visit the neighborhood, so to speak, eat at a couple of restaurants, see if people are friendly and open. There's a kind of a-

Dawneen Lorance: (23:12)
Crossover.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (23:13)
Crossover. Yeah, from regular real estate. It has been such joy to sit down and talk with you, Dawneen. Thank you for sharing all your knowledge. I really appreciate it.

Dawneen Lorance: (23:23)
Absolutely. My pleasure. Thank you for having me on as your guest. What a great podcast. What a great service you're giving to the community.

Marty Stevens-Heebner: (23:32)
Thank you so much for listening to, How to Move Your Mom and still be on speaking terms afterward. Please visit, howtomoveyourmom.com for more information about this episode and for additional podcast episodes featuring other extraordinary guests and conversations. Until next time, this is your very grateful host, Marty Stevens-Heebner.